Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
