That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize