and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
