found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize