I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
