there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
