Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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