just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
