So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
do nipples grow back?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
