The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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