We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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