I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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