He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
