But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
