I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
