So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Damn victory sex feels great
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