Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
