her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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