Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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