Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
did you just send me my own nude
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
