this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
