Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
