You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
