He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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