Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
babies were throwing up all over the place
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
