I smell stomach acid.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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