i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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