How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize