So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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