and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
