Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
