Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
