Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
