how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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