normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize