I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
