True but thats because hes a fetus.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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