"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
