Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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