Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
