First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
