I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
