I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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