It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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