new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize