Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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