Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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