She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
