I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Randomize
