Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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