I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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