therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
there's paper in my vomit.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am available for nakedness
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
