So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
